Cultivating the Family Garden

To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there. ~Barbara Bush

“Your family and your love must be cultivated like a garden. Time, effort, and imagination must be summoned constantly to keep any relationship flourishing and growing.” -Jim Rohn

My sister spent the past three days in town (her husband was here for a medical conference). I took Friday off and enjoyed a spectacular day with her and my nephew who was also here. We gardened, sat by the pool, went shopping, talked a lot and just hung out. Thursday afternoon and Saturday was more of the same. I haven't done anything like that in some time. It was good to relax with family. I love the garden she made for me on the back patio with bouganvillia and a hummingbird bush. The birds do, too! The front patio is more of an herb garden with French and Spanish lavender.

In the evenings, we had fun discovering authentic places to eat --including two visits to a delicious pizza place, Grimaldi's, located in what seemed to us an out-of-the-way corner of Scottsdale. We've been to the Brooklyn version of this place twice (the original one). It's located right under the Brooklyn Bridge and usually has a wait time of more than an hour. Here, we waited about 2 minutes each time. Shows you the population difference between the two cities =)

The Place You Were Called To

"The place you were called to is where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet. . . . When you experience your deepest gladness, you experience life's abundance, God's abundance." --Randy Roberts, August 21, 2010, Loma Linda University Church

"If you want to experience abundance at work, do what you were made to do. Do it for theOne who made you to do it (Colossians 3:22)."

Randy Roberts is one of my favorite speakers. I've never had the privilege to hear him live, in person. But I've watched him on the internet (live streaming) dozens of times. He is pastor where my niece now worships out in CA where she is in her first year of medical school. She is active in the musical life of the church and I've had the pleasure of seeing/hearing her minister to the congregation twice already in the past two months and will again this weekend (she's the cellist here).

It's a wonderful thing to be able to do what you love and know it is also what you are called to do. Every day when I wake up I say a prayer of gratitude for the opportunity I have to do what I do. I know I am fortunate. Not everyone is happy in what they do for a living. Truth to tell, I haven't always been happy, even though I knew I was doing what I was called to do. So the two don't always go hand in hand. But they are working well together right now. Can't complain about that!

The Lesson(s) Done

"This is thy hour O Soul, thy free flight Into the wordless
Away from books, away from art, the day erased, the lesson done,
Thee fully forth emerging, silent, gazing, pondering the themes thou lovest best.
Night, sleep, and the stars.~Walt Whitman, "The Clear Midnight," Leaves of Grass

I've had this poem saved on my computer for several weeks. Not sure what prompted me to set it aside, but tonight it spoke to me again. "Away from books, away from art, the day erased, the lesson done." It's been a long day. Mondays I'm at school for 12+ hours, arriving around 7 and leaving well after 7. I often don't even get out of my room once I go in.

Teaching 6 high school English classes is beyond time consuming. The prep alone is exhausting, never mind the actual teaching. And yet, I love it. Even the classes that challenge me. I greet each day with joy knowing that not only will I be pondering themes I love, but, with any luck, so will my students.

But for now, night, sleep, and the stars.

Photo: campus at dusk

For the Birds

I am having fun attracting birds to my little patio out back. During August and September, I had a plethora of hummingbirds.

Then all of a sudden bees took over the feeder, keeping the hummingbirds at bay. So I removd the feeder until I can figure out how to keep the bees away.

I put up a finch feeder and have been inundated with cheery little house finches.

But that's not all. I have had a verdin visit, several mocking birds (including a cute chubby one),

a chatty gila woodpecker,

a pair of curve-billed thrashers,

>

and a dark-eyed junco. My cats are fascinated by all the birds on the other side of the glass =)

Gathering Leaves

by Robert Frost

Spades take up leaves
No better than spoons,
And bags full of leaves
Are light as balloons.

I make a great noise
Of rustling all day
Like rabbit and deer
Running away.

But the mountains I raise
Elude my embrace,
Flowing over my arms
And into my face.

I may load and unload
Again and again
Till I fill the whole shed,
And what have I then?

Next to nothing for weight;
And since they grew duller
From contact with earth,

Next to nothing for color.

Next to nothing for use.
But a crop is a crop,
And who's to say where
The harvest shall stop?

I have become increasingly negligent with this blog. I'm not sure why. I think about it quite a bit. I am constantly looking for things to blog about. I even have the time. I just haven't done it. It's not that I'm not interested in doing it any more. I am. It's just that sometimes I wonder at the weight of what I write. Like Frost's poem here: Next to nothing for weight...next to nothing for use. I want what I write to have some weight, some merit, some use...for myself if no one else. But that's a pretty heavy demand, especially if you're going to write every day. I ask my students to write five times a week in their journals. I give them writing promts 2-3 of those days, but they are supposed to come up with something worth writing down the other 2-3 days. An even heavier demand of reluctant writers I'm realizing.

But...a crop is a crop, according to Frost. And who's to say where the harvest shall stop? Who's to say what's meaningful? What seems lightweight to one, might make all the difference to another. And so...I'm determined to do what I ask my students to do: write at least 5 times a week here. Don't hold me to it. But I will try...

Photo: an impromptu sketch one of my seniors made of me yesterday afternoon.

God Speaks

This song has been on my mind since sometime yesterday morning. It was written by Mel Rees and was on an LP Record that we used to listen to Friday nights and Sabbaths when I was young. The lyrics are most comforting...

God speaks in the stillness of the night

God speaks in the days so warm and bright.

the flaming sunset paints the sky

And sets the clouds ablaze

God speaks in all these wondrous ways.

God speaks in the mountains and the plans

He speaks in the scent of autumn rains,

In mighty rivers rushing in their haste to reach the sea,

God speaks to you and me.

How can we feel alone with Him so near?

Lift up your heart, He'll see and hear.

When things go wrong and no one seems to care,

Just look around, He's everywhere.

God speaks in the whiteness of the snow,

He speaks and the flowers begin to grow,

His voice is hear in chapel bells

And in the peaceful doves,

God speaks in every heart that loves.

Reading Recommendations--a meme

This post has been sitting in my drafts since March 2009. I'd forgotten all about it and just now discovered it unfinished and, obviously, unposted. I finished it this morning and am sharing it in the hopes that some of you will do your own version, sharing books you love and recommend. Thanks in advance for the new reading material!

Four Childhood Books I've read (and re-read):

1. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott (plus all her other books)
2. My Friend Flicka, Thunderhead, Green Grass of Wyoming by Mary O'Hara
3. All the Anne books by L. M. Montgomery and the Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder
4. Winnie the Pooh and House at Pooh Corner by A. A. Milne (plus When We Were Very Young and Now We Are Six...the poetry books)

Four “So-Called Classic” books read and never forgotten:

1. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (and, a new favorite, Persuasion)
2. A Man for All Seasons by Robert Bolt (play about Thomas More)
3. Hamlet by William Shakespeare (my favorite Shakespeare to teach)
4. Cry, the Beloved Country by Alan Paton (an achingly beautiful book, first read in college, another favorite to teach)

Four personal modern “Classic Novels” favorites:

1. The Chosen by Chaim Potok
2. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
3. The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan
4. Anything by Elie Wiesel; ditto for James Alexander Thom
5. (These are random picks as I have many favorites)

Four authors I've read again and again:

1. Chaim Potok
2. William Shakespeare
3. Louisa May Alcott
4. Anne Morrow Lindbergh
5. Jane Austen
6. Soooooooooo many more!!!

Four authors or books I'll never read again... ever:

1. Bram Stoker's Dracula
2. Charles Darwin's Origin of the Species

3. Can't think of any others right now...
4. ???

Four books on my To-Be-Read list:

1. Girl in a Blue Dress by Gaynor Arnold (a novel about Charles Dicken's wife)
2. Symphony by Jude Morgan (a novel about the inspiration for Hector Berlioz's Symphonie Fantastique)

3. An Altar in the World--A Geography of Faith by Barbara Brown Taylor

4. Wormwood by Susan Wittig Albert (from the China Bayles series)

Four Non-Fiction Books I’d take to a desert island (instead of 2 fiction and 2 non-fiction):

1. The Bible
2. Gifts from the Sea by Ann Morrow Lindbergh
3. Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom
4. Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis

Four Book recommendations I have followed (and loved):

1. Elizabeth Peters' Amelia Peabody mystery novels about a 19th century Egyptologist and her eccentric family (a librarian friend got me started reading this amazing series)

2. Stephen King's On Writing (a former student (turned English major) recommended this fantastic book about the craft of writing...I loved it and have used it for my honors composition classes. They, too, love it. And I've never read any of his other books!)

3. Louis L'Amour's westerns, another student recommendation (this time by a reluctant reader)

4. The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith (first in a lovely, lovely series!)

The last lines of one of my favorite books:
It is now some twenty minutes since the man left, but I have remained here on this bench to await the event that has just taken palce--namely, the switching on of the pier lights. As I say, the happiness with which the pleasure-seekers gathering on this pier greeted this small event would tend to vouch for the correctness of my companion's words; for a great many people, the evening is the most enjoyable part of the day. Perhaps, then, there is something to his advice that I should cease looking back so much, that I should adopt a more positive outlook and try to make the best of what remains of my day. After all, what can we ever gain in forever looking back and blaming ourselves if our lives have not turned out quite as we might have wished? The hard reality is, surely, that for the likes of you and I, there is little choice other than to leave our fate, ultimately, in the hands of those great gentlemen at the hub of this world who employ our services. what i the point in worrying oneself too much about what one could or could not have done to control the course one's life took? Surely it is enough that the likes of you and I at least try to make our small contribution cout for something true and worthy. And if some of us are prepared to sacrifice much in life in order to pursue such aspirations, surely that is in itself, whatever the outcome, cause for pride and contentment.

~ from The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro (the third to the last paragraph)

Come, Rest Awhile...

Come, rest awhile, and let us idly stray
In glimmering valleys, cool and far away.

Come from the greedy mart, the troubled street,
And listen to the music, faint and sweet,

That echoes ever to a listening ear,
Unheard by those who will not pause to hear

The wayward chimes of memory's pensive bells,
Wind-blown o'er misty hills and curtained dells.

One step aside and dewy buds unclose
The sweetness of the violet and the rose;

Song and romance still linger in the green,
Emblossomed ways by you so seldom seen,

And near at hand, would you but see them, lie
All lovely things beloved in days gone by.

You have forgotten what it is to smile
In your too busy life. Come, rest awhile.

~ Lucy Maud Montgomery

I blatantly stole this poem from a blogger friend, Gracious Hospitality. I know she won't mind. It says exactly what I've been feeling for the past two months or so. I have needed to rest awhile for so long, I almost didn't know how to do it once I got the chance. I truly had forgotten what it was to smile. My life was too busy. Busy doing God's work, albeit. But too busy all the same. I had been ignoring the part where Jesus Himself says we need rest. Of course the only true place to find rest is in Him:

"Come unto Me, all ye who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest."

Why is it that it seems wrong to rest sometimes? When you're involved in the Lord's work, it seems as if there is never enough time to do all that needs to be done. There is always one more meeting, one more activity, one more phone call to make. One more, one more. And you feel guilty if you don't do that one more thing. Trouble is, it begins to add up...and take its toll.

I spent 17 years at my last job. 17 years that were exhausting and draining to the point where I felt empty, dead inside and out. Everyone wanted something from me and even though I gave them my all, literally, it was not enough. Couldn't possibly have been enough for all they wanted. Towards the end, I didn't want to answer my phone, open my e-mail, go to church, go anywhere except to my family's homes. I went to work because I had to, and I did my job because it was there, but I knew I was spent. And I knew I had to go.

I didn't know where I was going to go, or what I was going to do, but having spent my entire life serving the Lord, I knew He would give me something else to do. Somewhere fresh and new, something I could do while at the same time be renewed myself. It took a month and a half for something to come along. In the meanwhile, I rested.

I took a workshop, visited a number of literary "hotspots," wrote, spent time with my family, and walked. A lot. I lost 20 pounds, recovered my perspective, and felt happier than I have in years. And then came the new job. In Arizona. Just teaching. Amazing.

God knows. He knows what we need. He knows how and where we can best serve Him. He knows long before it ever happens. And yet He lets us figure it out for ourselves. That, too, is amazing. That He knows, and yet lets it be our choice.

As I write this, I am sitting on my back patio, listening to a church service, surrounded by bird song, interrupted by the frequent hummingbird buzzing in for a refreshing dip into the feeder just feet from the table where I write. Three months ago I could not have foreseen this. I could not have, not even in my wildest dreams, imagined myself in Arizona, back in a boarding school, enjoying every minute of my day. True, I am thousands of miles from most of my family, and that has been very hard, but I feel alive again. I am well-rested every day. And I'm smiling again. Yes, smiling.

My Heart Awakening

When morning gilds the skies

my heart awakening cries:

May Jesus Christ be praised!

Alike at work and prayer,

to Jesus I repair:

May Jesus Christ be praised!

The night becomes as day

when from the heart we say:

May Jesus Christ be praised!

The powers of darkness fear

when this sweet chant they hear:

May Jesus Christ be praised!

Let all the earth around

ring joyous with the sound:

May Jesus Christ be praised!

In heaven's eternal bliss

the loveliest strain is this:

May Jesus Christ be praised!

Be this, while life is mine,

my canticle divine:

May Jesus Christ be praised!

Be this th' eternal song

through all the ages long:

May Jesus Christ be praised!

I woke up early this morning and decided it was as good a time as any to start an early-morning walking routine. I thought it would be fun to see what I could see... I have just moved to Phoenix, so have been exploring what's around me. I have a walkway outside the gate of my back patio that leads to a golf course. I decided to explore this path this morning. All during my walk, this hymn kept resounding in my head. Let Jesus Christ be Praised..
.

Enough

My faith has found a resting place

Not in device nor creed.

I trust the ever-living one,
His wounds for me shall plead.

Refrain:
I need no other argument, I need no other plea.
It is enough that Jesus died and that He died for me.

Enough for me that Jesus saves;
This ends my fear and doubt.
A sinful soul I come to Him
And He will never cast me out.

My heart is leaning on the Word,
The living Word of God.
Salvation by my Savior’s Name,
Salvation through His blood.

My great Physician heals the sick,
The lost He came to save;
For me His precious blood He shed,
For me His life He gave.

So, I've made the move to Arizona. Clear across the country from everything I've known since my birth. Literally. Things that make a country-wide distance from family bearable: cell phones, Skype, planes, friendly people in Scottsdale, knowing there will come a time when there will be no more separation, only an Eternity of time together.

Photos: two different sunsets this week from my hotel room in Scottsdale.

In Every Change

Be still my soul. The Lord is on thy side.

Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.

Leave to thy God to order and provide.

In every change, He faithful will remain.

Lots of change going on in my life these days. In less than 5 days I will be making my way across the country to a new job in Scottsdale, Arizona. I must say I never ever thought of living that far away from New England. I never really thought about leaving New England until recently. I have loved living here, and was especially enjoying

it this summer, having the luxury of not working and thus the freedom to travel at will any and every day.

But now, I'm about to embark on a new adventure. The uneasiness I feel when I think of leaving my family so far behind is tempered by the comfort of the verse above. Be still my soul.

Photos: The view around Thunderbird Academy where I will be working; building where my classroom is (the right hand door).

I am a Promise

I am a promise

I am a possibility

I am a promise

With a capital "P"

I was sitting in my living room earlier this evening when a strange yellow light poured in through the window that usually frames wonderful sunsets. It was so odd looking that I went outside to see what was going on. The whole sky was . . . yellow! When I turned around to go back inside, I saw a huge rainbow arching over my condo building! Then, it started pouring rain. I ran inside and by the time I looked back out my window, it had cleared up and there was a beautiful sunset!

Weird.

Beautiful.

A promise, full of good possibilities for the future. I like that!

Nobody

I'm nobody! Who are you?

Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us--don't tell!
They'd banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!

How public, like a frog

To tell your name the livelong day

To an admiring bog!

Emily Dickinson's little poem about publishing has always made me smile. I didn't realize the full truth of the poem, though, until I spent a night in Camden, Maine, recently trying to sleep through the public declarations of a pond full of frogs!

ALL NIGHT LONG they were croaking their names to the admiring bog (in this case a lovely lily pond outside of my hotel room. Even with the windows closed, I heard them loud and clear. All night long! In the morning, I took my camera outside and captured all I could see. In the end, I was the one admiring =)

Strong Enough to Stand Alone

"You have given your idol a heart, but no head. An affectionate or accomplished idiot is not my ideal of a woman. I would have her strong eough to stand alone, and give, not ask, support. Brave enough to think and act as well as feel. Keen-eyed enough to see her own and others' faults, and wise enough to find a cure for them. I would have her humble, though self-reliant, gentle, though strong; man's companion, not his plaything; able and willing to face storms, as well as sunshines, and share life's burdens as they come." ~ from "The Lady and the Woman" by Louisa May Alcott

I spent another amazing day in the company of fascinating women at the Concord School of Philosophy. This time, we had three separate presentations--two before lunch, one after. Debra Ryals from Pensacola State College spoke first on "The Condition of Women: Literature of the 19th and 20th Centuries." She focused on six authors--including Alcott--to demonstrate who women viewed themselves in terms of employment. She also talked about the importance of understanding context before you can appreciate and understand the literature. One piece of context that she shared stirred up some discussion: The suicide rate for unmarried women in the mid to late 19th century was 40% because there were so few options for them. Most often, they'd jump off low bridges into shallow water, breaking their necks. Even Louis May once thought about going over a bridge but was "saved" by a passerby. Jobs for women then weren't great or plentiful. There was no outlet for too many. They'd get depressed at the seeming dead end. This was before Freud, before psychology, before there was any helplines... This was staggering to think about.

The second "conversation" began with a presentation by Cathlin Davis from California State University-Stanislaus who talked about "Louisa May Alcott's Advice to Young Women." She used four little-known short stories to demonstrate the message that Louisa shared over and over--primarily that one person is all it takes to make a difference...and that has a ripple effect One person changes one thing for one person and they change one thing for another and they change one thing, and so on and on.. Alcott, through her sometimes subtle and other times not so subtle stories shows that the sphere of women is greater than what's been told to them and that one person absolutely can change the world. She also encourages young women to reach out with kindness, do what's right, don't give in to peer pressure, be brave enough to think and act on your beliefs, and to step out of the box that others had created for them. She not only tells them to do this, she shows them how to do it with her likable, realistic role models. Louisa has advice for young men, too. She encourages them to respect women and even to help them, work with them as equals... My oh my!

Between conversations, I had a conversation of my own with Debra Ryals mother. That was delightful as she clearly took joy in hearing her daughter's presentation. She told me about the fun they've had reading and learning together. I enjoyed meeting her. During lunch, I had a conversation with Caroline Davis and a couple other participants. We somehow found our way to talking about Anne of Green Gables which is a great favorite with many young people, but isn't often studied in academic circles, but certainly in this context could easily compete...

The afternoon conversation was spurred on by a presentation by Lisa Stepanski from Emmanuel College on "The Friendship of Bronson Alcott and Mary Baker Eddy." Turns out Eddy sent an early copy of her Christian Science manifesto, Health and Science, to Bronson Alcott hoping that he'd read and publicize it--which he did. They corresponded back and forth briefly about it, and this information led to a discussion about mid-19th century religion and spirituality which I found most interesting, and which may well lead to some independent research of my own in the near future. If I get to it, I'll share it here!

In all, it was a stimulating 6 hours in a very warm School of Philosophy building (although much more comfortable than yesterday afternoon).

What Were We Born to Do?

I spent a fascinating afternoon at the Concord School of Philosophy on the grounds of Louisa May Alcott's Orchard House. The discussion, entitled "What Were We Born to Do? The New Women of the Transcendental Era" was part of the 2010 Summer Concersational Series entitled "In Heaven's Name, Give Her a Chance!" Defining the Sphere of Women in 19th Century America. As I said, fascinating.

The four presenters this afternoon were formidable scholars and authors. Phyllis Cole, from Penn State-Brandywine, spoke aboutMary Moody Emerson (aunt to Ralph Waldo Emerson). Megan Marshall, from Emerson College and the Radcliffe Institute at Harvard, spoke about Elizabeth Palmer Peabody, one of three sisters who were movers and shakers in their time. [Marshall wrote a book about these sisters--The Peabody Sisters: Three Women Who Ignited American Romanticism (2005)--which won the Francis Parkman Prize, awarded by the Society of American Historians; the Mark Lynton History Prize, awarded by the Anthony Lukas Prize Project jointly sponsored by the Columbia School of Journalism and Harvard's Nieman Foundation; the Massachusetts Book Award in nonfiction; and was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize in biography and memoir.] Helen Deese, of Tennessee Tech University and the Massachusetts Historical Society, spoke about Caroline Healy Dall. [Deese is the author of Daughter of Boston: The Extraordinary Diary of aNineteenth-century Woman, Caroline Healey Dall, and she is the Caroline Healey Dall editor for the Massachusetts Historical Society.] Finally, John Matteson, John Jay College, spoke about Margaret Fuller and Louisa May Alcott. [Matteson received the 2008 Pulitzer Prize for his book Eden's Outcasts: The Story of Louisa May Alcott and Her Father. He is currently working on a book tentatively titled The Lives of Margaret Fuller.]

To say it was a formidable group would be an understatement. We met in the actual School of Philosophy that Alcott built on his Orchard House property for the purpose of educating adults. Quoting from the welcome we received from Executive director Jan Turnquist, "Mr. Alcott's dream of an adult education facility--one of the first in the country--came to fruition in Orchard House on July 15, 1870, when The Concord Summer School of Philosophy and Literature welcomed adults from all walks of life, and women were embraced as full intellectual equals." Since we were in the original building, there was no a/c or fans (noise would have drowned out the speakers. It was sweltering, but most of us were able to get past the oppressive heat to enjoy the stories the four speakers had to share. I am about half-way through Matteson's book, but I now want to read the other books (of course)...

I'll have more to share tomorrow from the things I am learning, but I'll close here by asking the question these four challenged us with: What were you born to do? Matteson says that when you ask that question, you also have to ask "what are we born to show [others]?" And what are the risks involved? As I sat and listened to the stories of 5 key women who influenced the way I live my life now, I was asking myself what I was born to do? And to what extent have I accomplished that purpose? And what am I doing about achieving it?

Jan Tourquist's parting words were about "simmering." Louisa May Alcott didn't have a lot of time to do the work she felt she was born to do. She had other responsibilities. She talks about her stories simmering in her brain while she was simmering things on the stove. That's the nature of creativity and work for women. Men will do one or the other. But women are charged with doing both if they want to do the creativity. It is rare to have the luxury to do just the one. Certainly it was in the 19th century. I left determined to refine my life's purpose and to find a way to accomplish it even more...and better.

Still and Quiet

"I feel within me a peace above all earthly dignities, a still and quiet conscience." ~ William Shakespeare

This time last weekend, I was on my way up to Rangeley, ME to spend the 4th of July holiday with my family. Since the girls started college, we don't often get together all 11 of us, so when we have the opportunity, we make the most of it. Usually when we're at the cabin, peace and quiet reigns. This time, with so much change going on with everyone (college for the oldest boy, medical school for the oldest girl, job change for me, potential job change for my brother-in-law, possible school change for the youngest boy), our time together was not as peaceful as it has been.

Still, the surroundings demanded that we let go of the stresses in our lives and pay attention to what God had in mind for us. When He uses the whole sky to get your attention, you have to listen, take note, let go, and let Him do His work in you.