Saturday, May 19, 2012

Best and Worst of Times

This is the moon of a few weeks ago...the biggest moon of the year (at least).  Doesn't look very big from this angle, but trust me, it was huge. It is rising over a neighborhood near my school.

Usually when there is a full moon, I brace myself for trouble at school.  The kids are squirrelly during the day, and usually something goes awry in the evening and wee sma's.  Didn't happen this time and I wondered when the shoe would drop.  Well, this past week is when.  With a week to go before their class trip and then graduation, seniors have decided to get the mischief out of their system before hand instead of afterwards (or not at all).  It's been a tough time.  And yet there have been moments.  Really good moments.  I guess you could say it's been one of those best of times, worst of times kind of weeks.  At times I felt very wise, at others, completely helpless.  It was a season of Light, it was a season of Darkness.  The spring of hope, the winter of despair.  One minute I felt we had everything before us, and the next there was nothing before us.  Sometimes I thought we were all going direct to heaven (figuratively speaking), but then, I knew we were all going direct the other way...(yes, a nod to Mr. Dickens).

There have been difficult discipline issues and it fell to me to be the bearer of news that was painful yet graceful.  And then the effort to make it OK, to help a reeling kids stay upright and not lash out.  In the middle of all that I was screaming (in my head) this is not supposed to be happening to me!  I left administration because of days like this!  And yet...I was glad to be the one, as it might have gone very badly otherwise.  What do you say when you know someone is hurting and they have acted out of that hurt--a hurt you know and understand yourself--and instead of being the voice of sympathy, you have to be the voice of reason?  I thought of my parents who sometimes said, while disciplining us as kids, "this hurts me more than it hurts you."  Yes...and I imagine that is how it is with God, too.  I do not envy Him.

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