Change

Susan Wittig Albert is one of my favorite contemporary authors.  I've been reading her books for some 20 years, now.  Maybe more.  Her website tells us that she "is the author of the novel, A Wilder Rose, the true, untold story of the writing of the Little House books.  Her award-winning fiction, which has appeared on the New York Times bestseller list, includes mysteries in the China Bayles series, the Cottage Tales of Beatrix Potter, and a series of Victorian-Edwardian mysteries she has written with her husband, Bill Albert, under the pseudonym of Robin Paige.  She has written two memoirs: An Extraordinary Year of Ordinary Days and Together, Alone: A Memoir of Marriage and Place, published by the University of Texas Press.  Her nonfiction titles include What Wildness is This: Women Write About the Southwest (winner of the 2009 Willa Award for Creative Nonfiction); With Courage and Common Sense; Writing from Life: Telling the Soul's Story; and Work of Her Own: A Woman's Guide to Success Off the Career Track.

She is founder and past president of the Story Circle Network and a member of the Texas Institute of Letters."  

Having read nearly everything she's published, I think it's safe to say that I admire and respect her on a number of levels.  I am "friends" with her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter and read her blogs faithfully.  Now, this week, I am embarking on a journey inspired by her book Starting Points:  Weekly Writing Prompts for Women with Stories to Tell.  My plan is to do much of the woodshed writing in my private journal, but to write at least one entry a week inspired by the daily writing I do based on the prompts.  We'll see how it goes.  I always have grand plans at the start of the year to "write more."  This year, I hope to actually do that.  Wish me luck!

The prompts for the first week of January have to do with changes.  Significant changes in my life over the past year.  An easy question on the surface.  There are changes that time brings to us, that we can do nothing about.  Unstoppable changes that come with aging.  The eyes grow dimmer, the joints ache more in the morning, the energy drops a little more than it used to at the end of the day.  Those are things to be expected, and yet they are not necessarily easy dealt with.  They are part of what comes with living longer, though, so I must find a way to deal with them.  That, too, is easier said than done, but must happen if I am to move on with my life, my future, and not stay rooted in the past--or even the present.

Photo:  New decals on my laptop :)

Better Than Light

“And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year:  ‘Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.’ And he replied:  ‘Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God.  That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.’

I first read that quote the year I had literally gone out into the darkness—quit my job at a school where I was teaching, given up my apartment and gone off to work on my doctorate in an environment about as far removed from my life and lifestyle as possible—the huge and ultra secular University of New Hampshire.  I had no idea what to expect.  All I knew was that I hoped I could succeed in a world I had had little or no contact with until that point.

Looking back, I’m not sure how I had the courage to do it, although if you know me at all, you know I am a risk-taker, always pushing the envelope, so maybe it’s not such a surprise that I would do something like that after all.    Although there were many things foreign and even difficult about the experience for me, I don’t regret having done it.  I also learned a lot, the most important being the truth of those M.L. Haskins lines from the poem “God Knows” in her book The Desert.  Any time you put your hand into the hand of God you are in a better light and on a safer way.

This is nothing new to most of us.  In fact, I think probably most of us believe that a life following close to Jesus is absolutely the best life.  Trouble is, it does no good to hold a belief if you don’t practice it.  If you’re not a thinker and a doer, why bother thinking?  Shocking question coming from one who, as a teacher, is continually exhorting her students to THINK, isn’t it? 

Well, I’ve been thinking about doing for a few weeks, now.  This isn’t the first time I’ve thought about doing, of course.  In fact I often think about doing around this time of year.  It’s the New Year, and one can hardly avoid thinking about doing new things, doing things differently, doing things at all!  At least I can’t. Every year for as long as I can remember—and my sisters say I can remember a long ways back, although it’s getting shorter as I get older—I’ve been making New Year’s Resolution lists.  Sometimes they’re long and detailed lists.  Other times they’re brief but cleverly worded lists—working under the theory that a few resolutions are easier to keep than many.  Omit needless deeds, you know.  It depends on how energetic I’m feeling at the moment…

No matter the form, I find myself thinking a lot during the weeks that surround the New Year.  Thing is, that’s the easy part.  Anyone can think, although they don’t always do it.  It’s the acting on the thinking that’s the real challenge.   That's my goal this year.  To act on the thinking, with my hand in God's.  That is definitely better light and safer than the known way.

Resolved (more or less)

I'm counting down the hours to the new year and new decade with a few top ten lists. In the process, I'm also writing my 500th blog entry. When I started this blog in 2006, I had no idea where I'd go with it. I didn't even want to go public at first. As the days and months passed, though, I got hooked...on blogging, reading blogs, "meeting" wonderful blogger friends, and traveling vicariously through their words and pictures. I've reconnected with high school classmates through their blogs, made new friends all over the world, learned a lot, laughed and cried a lot, and have been inspired over and over.

One of my New Year's resolutions (one that's on my list annually) is to write more. Last January, I wrote on the blog every day and then let "life" take over. This year I'm determined to do more than less of everything on my list. I keep it short, because it's easier to focus on a few things. Still, it's not easy, no matter how determined I am in the days leading up to the launch day of "The List." Doesn't keep me from trying once again, though =)

So: Resolved to write more, watch TV less; exercise more, eat less; pray more, procrastinate less. There it is, more or less. ;)

Thou my best thought, Thy presence my light

I've been thinking about the things I need to change up in my life. One of the things I decided to do is read the Bible through this year. I chose to read it chronologically, in the order, as best scholars can tell, that things happened. I am reading it in two versions, the New International and The Message. The experience, three days so far, has been fascinating. Having grown up reading and studying the Bible, the stories are not new (Creation, the Flood), but I am new. Not only new every day, but certainly vastly different from when I first learned the details. Now, I am looking at it with fresh eyes. And I am amazed all over again at what God did.

This week, I was seeing Him as a creator, an artist, having created something and then seen it go awry. As with many literal artists, He decided to ball it all up and start over. That's what the flood was about. I'm not saying He did it in an artistic fit of despair, but I am sure He was greatly disappointed in the way humanity did not respond to His gift of life. I was equally impressed to read, at the end of the flood story, how He promised He would never do that again, never completely (all but 8) destroy the world. I wonder how many times He's itched to do it, though! How many times He's looked at who and what we've become and sighed a heavy sigh.

It's another gift to us that He's let us muddle on, trying to find balance and focus. Instead of interfering, or putting us out of our misery, He's held back His hand and let us figure out, or not, that we need him. How amazing is that?

The hymn Be Thou My Vision has been on my mind this afternoon, perhaps because I am working on clarifying my purpose. I know I'm on the right track, but I need to tighten my grip on what I am doing, zero in, with specific intention, on what my vision is. This hymn knows the answer lies in Him. I looked up the origin of the hymn, and this is what I found:

With its heartfelt poetry and moving melody, "Be Thou My Vision" beautifully expresses the desires of the Christian heart. Though its popularity rose only in the past fifty years or so, the hymn actually has a rich history dating back to the eighth century.

Between the years of 400 and 700 AD the Irish people lived out a passionate faith in Christ. Ireland took up the missionary endeavor with excitement, and the country became known for its all-absorbing efforts to share Christianity throughout the world. Irish missionaries were found from Scotland to Switzerland, spreading the Good News wherever they went.

Some scholars believe that the words to the hymn are the product of a man known simply as St. Patrick. Patrick was born in A.D. 373 along the banks of the River Clyde in what is now called Scotland. When he was 16 he was kidnapped by pirates and taken as a slave to Ireland. There he gave his life to Jesus Christ. He eventually escaped, but he never forgot this experience and when he was about 30 he returned to his former captors with only one possession: the Latin Bible. History tells us that St. Patrick was the man most responsible for the Good News of Christ coming to Ireland. As a result of his preaching, over 200 churches were established and 100,000 converts were baptized.

"Be Thou My Vision" undoubtedly comes from this spiritually rich period. Its prominent theme encourages single-hearted focus and devotion to Christ. In the hymn lyrics, the poet expresses his adoration of God through the many titles he gives him: Vision, Wisdom, Word, Great Father, Power, Inheritance, High King of heaven, Treasure, bright heaven's Sun, Ruler of all.

Today, we continue to sing the words of this hymn, echoing the poet's response to God's many titles. "Thou my best thought, Thy presence my light."

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul's Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of heaven, my victory won,
May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heaven's Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Image from Snapshots of Joy

Courage and Breaking Habits

More reason to choose "Courage" as my Word of the Year for 2009. I opened the e-mail that arrived in my mailbox this morning from Simple Truths and this is the headline: "Breaking a habit starts with courage, ends with discipline, and is fueled by desire." It included the following about habits:

I am your constant companion.
I am your greatest asset or heaviest burden.
I will push you up to success or down to disappointment.
I am at your command.
Half the things you do might just as well be turned over to me,
For I can do them quickly, correctly, and profitably.
I am easily managed, just be firm with me.
Those who are great, I have made great.
Those who are failures, I have made failures.
I am not a machine, though I work with the precision of a
machine and the intelligence of a person.
You can run me for profit, or you can run me for ruin.
Show me how you want it done. Educate me. Train me.
Lead me. Reward me.
And I will then...do it automatically
I am your servant.
Who am I?
I am a habit.

Oh my! How did they know?!!! Guess I'd better start looking for my courage!

Resolution Musings

I've spent some of this day thinking about how to organize (once again) my life in a way that is both comfortable and manageable. I've done this many times, of course, but never seem to keep myself on track. One of the bloggers that I like to read (Autumn Cottage Diarist) wrote about something she was trying to get, or keep, herself focused: vision boards and treasure maps. Visualizing what it is you want to do, want to become seems to be a good tool to getting you to that place. Of course it's one thing to see, it's another thing to do...

Another blog I was reading today suggests choosing a single word to focus on instead of making a list of New Year's Resolutions. She says that narrowing down what you want to work on makes it more manageable, and more likely to be accomplished.

The idea of a vision board is a little bulky for my already too-small space. I'm trying to de-clutter, not add to it. The blogger had a solution for that, though, and that was to make a vision journal instead of a board. And, in a way, I've been working on such a thing for the past several years, I just haven't put it together. So...perhaps that's something I can do.

But I have to admit to liking the one word idea best. You can take it out and look at it anytime, anywhere...in your mind or on paper, whenever needed. To that end, I've been trying to figure out what word I would choose. Christine Kane has a long list of words to choose from and one that I like is "Courageous." Have the courage to stick to it, whatever it is that I need/want to do, and not waiver, not give in...kind of goes along with our school theme this year that says "to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."

There's something in me that does not want to yield. In theory. And yet I give in all the time to things I don't want to do. I've got to fight that tendency. I've got to have the courage not to yield.