God Speaks

This song has been on my mind since sometime yesterday morning. It was written by Mel Rees and was on an LP Record that we used to listen to Friday nights and Sabbaths when I was young. The lyrics are most comforting...

God speaks in the stillness of the night

God speaks in the days so warm and bright.

the flaming sunset paints the sky

And sets the clouds ablaze

God speaks in all these wondrous ways.

God speaks in the mountains and the plans

He speaks in the scent of autumn rains,

In mighty rivers rushing in their haste to reach the sea,

God speaks to you and me.

How can we feel alone with Him so near?

Lift up your heart, He'll see and hear.

When things go wrong and no one seems to care,

Just look around, He's everywhere.

God speaks in the whiteness of the snow,

He speaks and the flowers begin to grow,

His voice is hear in chapel bells

And in the peaceful doves,

God speaks in every heart that loves.

Reading Recommendations--a meme

This post has been sitting in my drafts since March 2009. I'd forgotten all about it and just now discovered it unfinished and, obviously, unposted. I finished it this morning and am sharing it in the hopes that some of you will do your own version, sharing books you love and recommend. Thanks in advance for the new reading material!

Four Childhood Books I've read (and re-read):

1. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott (plus all her other books)
2. My Friend Flicka, Thunderhead, Green Grass of Wyoming by Mary O'Hara
3. All the Anne books by L. M. Montgomery and the Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder
4. Winnie the Pooh and House at Pooh Corner by A. A. Milne (plus When We Were Very Young and Now We Are Six...the poetry books)

Four “So-Called Classic” books read and never forgotten:

1. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (and, a new favorite, Persuasion)
2. A Man for All Seasons by Robert Bolt (play about Thomas More)
3. Hamlet by William Shakespeare (my favorite Shakespeare to teach)
4. Cry, the Beloved Country by Alan Paton (an achingly beautiful book, first read in college, another favorite to teach)

Four personal modern “Classic Novels” favorites:

1. The Chosen by Chaim Potok
2. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
3. The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan
4. Anything by Elie Wiesel; ditto for James Alexander Thom
5. (These are random picks as I have many favorites)

Four authors I've read again and again:

1. Chaim Potok
2. William Shakespeare
3. Louisa May Alcott
4. Anne Morrow Lindbergh
5. Jane Austen
6. Soooooooooo many more!!!

Four authors or books I'll never read again... ever:

1. Bram Stoker's Dracula
2. Charles Darwin's Origin of the Species

3. Can't think of any others right now...
4. ???

Four books on my To-Be-Read list:

1. Girl in a Blue Dress by Gaynor Arnold (a novel about Charles Dicken's wife)
2. Symphony by Jude Morgan (a novel about the inspiration for Hector Berlioz's Symphonie Fantastique)

3. An Altar in the World--A Geography of Faith by Barbara Brown Taylor

4. Wormwood by Susan Wittig Albert (from the China Bayles series)

Four Non-Fiction Books I’d take to a desert island (instead of 2 fiction and 2 non-fiction):

1. The Bible
2. Gifts from the Sea by Ann Morrow Lindbergh
3. Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom
4. Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis

Four Book recommendations I have followed (and loved):

1. Elizabeth Peters' Amelia Peabody mystery novels about a 19th century Egyptologist and her eccentric family (a librarian friend got me started reading this amazing series)

2. Stephen King's On Writing (a former student (turned English major) recommended this fantastic book about the craft of writing...I loved it and have used it for my honors composition classes. They, too, love it. And I've never read any of his other books!)

3. Louis L'Amour's westerns, another student recommendation (this time by a reluctant reader)

4. The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith (first in a lovely, lovely series!)

The last lines of one of my favorite books:
It is now some twenty minutes since the man left, but I have remained here on this bench to await the event that has just taken palce--namely, the switching on of the pier lights. As I say, the happiness with which the pleasure-seekers gathering on this pier greeted this small event would tend to vouch for the correctness of my companion's words; for a great many people, the evening is the most enjoyable part of the day. Perhaps, then, there is something to his advice that I should cease looking back so much, that I should adopt a more positive outlook and try to make the best of what remains of my day. After all, what can we ever gain in forever looking back and blaming ourselves if our lives have not turned out quite as we might have wished? The hard reality is, surely, that for the likes of you and I, there is little choice other than to leave our fate, ultimately, in the hands of those great gentlemen at the hub of this world who employ our services. what i the point in worrying oneself too much about what one could or could not have done to control the course one's life took? Surely it is enough that the likes of you and I at least try to make our small contribution cout for something true and worthy. And if some of us are prepared to sacrifice much in life in order to pursue such aspirations, surely that is in itself, whatever the outcome, cause for pride and contentment.

~ from The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro (the third to the last paragraph)

Come, Rest Awhile...

Come, rest awhile, and let us idly stray
In glimmering valleys, cool and far away.

Come from the greedy mart, the troubled street,
And listen to the music, faint and sweet,

That echoes ever to a listening ear,
Unheard by those who will not pause to hear

The wayward chimes of memory's pensive bells,
Wind-blown o'er misty hills and curtained dells.

One step aside and dewy buds unclose
The sweetness of the violet and the rose;

Song and romance still linger in the green,
Emblossomed ways by you so seldom seen,

And near at hand, would you but see them, lie
All lovely things beloved in days gone by.

You have forgotten what it is to smile
In your too busy life. Come, rest awhile.

~ Lucy Maud Montgomery

I blatantly stole this poem from a blogger friend, Gracious Hospitality. I know she won't mind. It says exactly what I've been feeling for the past two months or so. I have needed to rest awhile for so long, I almost didn't know how to do it once I got the chance. I truly had forgotten what it was to smile. My life was too busy. Busy doing God's work, albeit. But too busy all the same. I had been ignoring the part where Jesus Himself says we need rest. Of course the only true place to find rest is in Him:

"Come unto Me, all ye who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest."

Why is it that it seems wrong to rest sometimes? When you're involved in the Lord's work, it seems as if there is never enough time to do all that needs to be done. There is always one more meeting, one more activity, one more phone call to make. One more, one more. And you feel guilty if you don't do that one more thing. Trouble is, it begins to add up...and take its toll.

I spent 17 years at my last job. 17 years that were exhausting and draining to the point where I felt empty, dead inside and out. Everyone wanted something from me and even though I gave them my all, literally, it was not enough. Couldn't possibly have been enough for all they wanted. Towards the end, I didn't want to answer my phone, open my e-mail, go to church, go anywhere except to my family's homes. I went to work because I had to, and I did my job because it was there, but I knew I was spent. And I knew I had to go.

I didn't know where I was going to go, or what I was going to do, but having spent my entire life serving the Lord, I knew He would give me something else to do. Somewhere fresh and new, something I could do while at the same time be renewed myself. It took a month and a half for something to come along. In the meanwhile, I rested.

I took a workshop, visited a number of literary "hotspots," wrote, spent time with my family, and walked. A lot. I lost 20 pounds, recovered my perspective, and felt happier than I have in years. And then came the new job. In Arizona. Just teaching. Amazing.

God knows. He knows what we need. He knows how and where we can best serve Him. He knows long before it ever happens. And yet He lets us figure it out for ourselves. That, too, is amazing. That He knows, and yet lets it be our choice.

As I write this, I am sitting on my back patio, listening to a church service, surrounded by bird song, interrupted by the frequent hummingbird buzzing in for a refreshing dip into the feeder just feet from the table where I write. Three months ago I could not have foreseen this. I could not have, not even in my wildest dreams, imagined myself in Arizona, back in a boarding school, enjoying every minute of my day. True, I am thousands of miles from most of my family, and that has been very hard, but I feel alive again. I am well-rested every day. And I'm smiling again. Yes, smiling.

My Heart Awakening

When morning gilds the skies

my heart awakening cries:

May Jesus Christ be praised!

Alike at work and prayer,

to Jesus I repair:

May Jesus Christ be praised!

The night becomes as day

when from the heart we say:

May Jesus Christ be praised!

The powers of darkness fear

when this sweet chant they hear:

May Jesus Christ be praised!

Let all the earth around

ring joyous with the sound:

May Jesus Christ be praised!

In heaven's eternal bliss

the loveliest strain is this:

May Jesus Christ be praised!

Be this, while life is mine,

my canticle divine:

May Jesus Christ be praised!

Be this th' eternal song

through all the ages long:

May Jesus Christ be praised!

I woke up early this morning and decided it was as good a time as any to start an early-morning walking routine. I thought it would be fun to see what I could see... I have just moved to Phoenix, so have been exploring what's around me. I have a walkway outside the gate of my back patio that leads to a golf course. I decided to explore this path this morning. All during my walk, this hymn kept resounding in my head. Let Jesus Christ be Praised..
.

Enough

My faith has found a resting place

Not in device nor creed.

I trust the ever-living one,
His wounds for me shall plead.

Refrain:
I need no other argument, I need no other plea.
It is enough that Jesus died and that He died for me.

Enough for me that Jesus saves;
This ends my fear and doubt.
A sinful soul I come to Him
And He will never cast me out.

My heart is leaning on the Word,
The living Word of God.
Salvation by my Savior’s Name,
Salvation through His blood.

My great Physician heals the sick,
The lost He came to save;
For me His precious blood He shed,
For me His life He gave.

So, I've made the move to Arizona. Clear across the country from everything I've known since my birth. Literally. Things that make a country-wide distance from family bearable: cell phones, Skype, planes, friendly people in Scottsdale, knowing there will come a time when there will be no more separation, only an Eternity of time together.

Photos: two different sunsets this week from my hotel room in Scottsdale.

In Every Change

Be still my soul. The Lord is on thy side.

Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.

Leave to thy God to order and provide.

In every change, He faithful will remain.

Lots of change going on in my life these days. In less than 5 days I will be making my way across the country to a new job in Scottsdale, Arizona. I must say I never ever thought of living that far away from New England. I never really thought about leaving New England until recently. I have loved living here, and was especially enjoying

it this summer, having the luxury of not working and thus the freedom to travel at will any and every day.

But now, I'm about to embark on a new adventure. The uneasiness I feel when I think of leaving my family so far behind is tempered by the comfort of the verse above. Be still my soul.

Photos: The view around Thunderbird Academy where I will be working; building where my classroom is (the right hand door).

I am a Promise

I am a promise

I am a possibility

I am a promise

With a capital "P"

I was sitting in my living room earlier this evening when a strange yellow light poured in through the window that usually frames wonderful sunsets. It was so odd looking that I went outside to see what was going on. The whole sky was . . . yellow! When I turned around to go back inside, I saw a huge rainbow arching over my condo building! Then, it started pouring rain. I ran inside and by the time I looked back out my window, it had cleared up and there was a beautiful sunset!

Weird.

Beautiful.

A promise, full of good possibilities for the future. I like that!

Nobody

I'm nobody! Who are you?

Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us--don't tell!
They'd banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!

How public, like a frog

To tell your name the livelong day

To an admiring bog!

Emily Dickinson's little poem about publishing has always made me smile. I didn't realize the full truth of the poem, though, until I spent a night in Camden, Maine, recently trying to sleep through the public declarations of a pond full of frogs!

ALL NIGHT LONG they were croaking their names to the admiring bog (in this case a lovely lily pond outside of my hotel room. Even with the windows closed, I heard them loud and clear. All night long! In the morning, I took my camera outside and captured all I could see. In the end, I was the one admiring =)

Strong Enough to Stand Alone

"You have given your idol a heart, but no head. An affectionate or accomplished idiot is not my ideal of a woman. I would have her strong eough to stand alone, and give, not ask, support. Brave enough to think and act as well as feel. Keen-eyed enough to see her own and others' faults, and wise enough to find a cure for them. I would have her humble, though self-reliant, gentle, though strong; man's companion, not his plaything; able and willing to face storms, as well as sunshines, and share life's burdens as they come." ~ from "The Lady and the Woman" by Louisa May Alcott

I spent another amazing day in the company of fascinating women at the Concord School of Philosophy. This time, we had three separate presentations--two before lunch, one after. Debra Ryals from Pensacola State College spoke first on "The Condition of Women: Literature of the 19th and 20th Centuries." She focused on six authors--including Alcott--to demonstrate who women viewed themselves in terms of employment. She also talked about the importance of understanding context before you can appreciate and understand the literature. One piece of context that she shared stirred up some discussion: The suicide rate for unmarried women in the mid to late 19th century was 40% because there were so few options for them. Most often, they'd jump off low bridges into shallow water, breaking their necks. Even Louis May once thought about going over a bridge but was "saved" by a passerby. Jobs for women then weren't great or plentiful. There was no outlet for too many. They'd get depressed at the seeming dead end. This was before Freud, before psychology, before there was any helplines... This was staggering to think about.

The second "conversation" began with a presentation by Cathlin Davis from California State University-Stanislaus who talked about "Louisa May Alcott's Advice to Young Women." She used four little-known short stories to demonstrate the message that Louisa shared over and over--primarily that one person is all it takes to make a difference...and that has a ripple effect One person changes one thing for one person and they change one thing for another and they change one thing, and so on and on.. Alcott, through her sometimes subtle and other times not so subtle stories shows that the sphere of women is greater than what's been told to them and that one person absolutely can change the world. She also encourages young women to reach out with kindness, do what's right, don't give in to peer pressure, be brave enough to think and act on your beliefs, and to step out of the box that others had created for them. She not only tells them to do this, she shows them how to do it with her likable, realistic role models. Louisa has advice for young men, too. She encourages them to respect women and even to help them, work with them as equals... My oh my!

Between conversations, I had a conversation of my own with Debra Ryals mother. That was delightful as she clearly took joy in hearing her daughter's presentation. She told me about the fun they've had reading and learning together. I enjoyed meeting her. During lunch, I had a conversation with Caroline Davis and a couple other participants. We somehow found our way to talking about Anne of Green Gables which is a great favorite with many young people, but isn't often studied in academic circles, but certainly in this context could easily compete...

The afternoon conversation was spurred on by a presentation by Lisa Stepanski from Emmanuel College on "The Friendship of Bronson Alcott and Mary Baker Eddy." Turns out Eddy sent an early copy of her Christian Science manifesto, Health and Science, to Bronson Alcott hoping that he'd read and publicize it--which he did. They corresponded back and forth briefly about it, and this information led to a discussion about mid-19th century religion and spirituality which I found most interesting, and which may well lead to some independent research of my own in the near future. If I get to it, I'll share it here!

In all, it was a stimulating 6 hours in a very warm School of Philosophy building (although much more comfortable than yesterday afternoon).

What Were We Born to Do?

I spent a fascinating afternoon at the Concord School of Philosophy on the grounds of Louisa May Alcott's Orchard House. The discussion, entitled "What Were We Born to Do? The New Women of the Transcendental Era" was part of the 2010 Summer Concersational Series entitled "In Heaven's Name, Give Her a Chance!" Defining the Sphere of Women in 19th Century America. As I said, fascinating.

The four presenters this afternoon were formidable scholars and authors. Phyllis Cole, from Penn State-Brandywine, spoke aboutMary Moody Emerson (aunt to Ralph Waldo Emerson). Megan Marshall, from Emerson College and the Radcliffe Institute at Harvard, spoke about Elizabeth Palmer Peabody, one of three sisters who were movers and shakers in their time. [Marshall wrote a book about these sisters--The Peabody Sisters: Three Women Who Ignited American Romanticism (2005)--which won the Francis Parkman Prize, awarded by the Society of American Historians; the Mark Lynton History Prize, awarded by the Anthony Lukas Prize Project jointly sponsored by the Columbia School of Journalism and Harvard's Nieman Foundation; the Massachusetts Book Award in nonfiction; and was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize in biography and memoir.] Helen Deese, of Tennessee Tech University and the Massachusetts Historical Society, spoke about Caroline Healy Dall. [Deese is the author of Daughter of Boston: The Extraordinary Diary of aNineteenth-century Woman, Caroline Healey Dall, and she is the Caroline Healey Dall editor for the Massachusetts Historical Society.] Finally, John Matteson, John Jay College, spoke about Margaret Fuller and Louisa May Alcott. [Matteson received the 2008 Pulitzer Prize for his book Eden's Outcasts: The Story of Louisa May Alcott and Her Father. He is currently working on a book tentatively titled The Lives of Margaret Fuller.]

To say it was a formidable group would be an understatement. We met in the actual School of Philosophy that Alcott built on his Orchard House property for the purpose of educating adults. Quoting from the welcome we received from Executive director Jan Turnquist, "Mr. Alcott's dream of an adult education facility--one of the first in the country--came to fruition in Orchard House on July 15, 1870, when The Concord Summer School of Philosophy and Literature welcomed adults from all walks of life, and women were embraced as full intellectual equals." Since we were in the original building, there was no a/c or fans (noise would have drowned out the speakers. It was sweltering, but most of us were able to get past the oppressive heat to enjoy the stories the four speakers had to share. I am about half-way through Matteson's book, but I now want to read the other books (of course)...

I'll have more to share tomorrow from the things I am learning, but I'll close here by asking the question these four challenged us with: What were you born to do? Matteson says that when you ask that question, you also have to ask "what are we born to show [others]?" And what are the risks involved? As I sat and listened to the stories of 5 key women who influenced the way I live my life now, I was asking myself what I was born to do? And to what extent have I accomplished that purpose? And what am I doing about achieving it?

Jan Tourquist's parting words were about "simmering." Louisa May Alcott didn't have a lot of time to do the work she felt she was born to do. She had other responsibilities. She talks about her stories simmering in her brain while she was simmering things on the stove. That's the nature of creativity and work for women. Men will do one or the other. But women are charged with doing both if they want to do the creativity. It is rare to have the luxury to do just the one. Certainly it was in the 19th century. I left determined to refine my life's purpose and to find a way to accomplish it even more...and better.

Still and Quiet

"I feel within me a peace above all earthly dignities, a still and quiet conscience." ~ William Shakespeare

This time last weekend, I was on my way up to Rangeley, ME to spend the 4th of July holiday with my family. Since the girls started college, we don't often get together all 11 of us, so when we have the opportunity, we make the most of it. Usually when we're at the cabin, peace and quiet reigns. This time, with so much change going on with everyone (college for the oldest boy, medical school for the oldest girl, job change for me, potential job change for my brother-in-law, possible school change for the youngest boy), our time together was not as peaceful as it has been.

Still, the surroundings demanded that we let go of the stresses in our lives and pay attention to what God had in mind for us. When He uses the whole sky to get your attention, you have to listen, take note, let go, and let Him do His work in you.

Body and Soul in Balance

My blogging friend Inland Empire Girl had these questions on her blog. She got them from "The Whole Truth" column in a recent Whole Living, Body + Soul in Balance magazine. I thought the questions were interesting. If you try them, let me know.

If I could say one thing to myself ten years ago...I'd tell myself to "do it now" regarding renovations to my condo instead of doing them "when I can afford it" which turns out to be just before I sell it. I finally have it just about the way I've wanted it and will only have a month or two to enjoy it.

My favorite place in the world...in the US is "Second Wind," the family cabin in Rangeley, Maine. I've been going there for some 25 years and have always had a wonderful time, whether it's by myself, with family, friends, colleagues, or students. It's a beautiful, peace-filled place. Outside the US, it would have to be Aix-en-Provence, a lovely "walking town" in the south of France, home to impressionist Paul Cezanne. I had an awesome 10 days there in 2004, taking a writing class in the morning and wandering all over by foot in the afternoons. I need to go back.

The movie I watch when I want to laugh...is The Princess Bride, even though I know almost the whole thing by heart. It's funny, witty, and sweet all rolled into one.

No one knows I...(I can't think of anything no one knows that I actually want to share now...)

I feel healthy when I...sleep 7 hours at night, exercise every morning, and drink 8 glasses of water a day

If I could do anything else for living I'd...be a full-time writer

Exercise routine...I go to "Healthy Fit" every morning and walk two miles. I started at 44 minutes (a 22 minute mile). I'm working at decreasing the time it takes me to do the two miles.

Proudest moment in my career...there have been many as a teacher, all involving students doing what they thought they couldn't. As a principal, it was getting, and keeping, the school into the black after decades of it being in the red.

My dad always told me...to keep Jesus first.

My mom was right about...putting my life in God's hands.

The lesson I keep learning over and over...is that I don't need to do everything myself.

I wish I had more time for...reading and writing....and more money for travel

My great unfilled dream is...to be a published author of a book (as opposed to magazine/newspaper article).

Real contentment is...sitting outside reading--on the deck at Second Wind, on the patio at my parents', by the pool at my sisters', by the fire anywhere...or listening to music at these same places...or camping with my family...

One of my favorite quotations is...from Jeremiah 29:11 (The Message): "I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for."

I always feel saner when I...am in my classroom teaching...or talking with my parents or sisters--either on the phone or, better yet, in person.

Transcending the Day

Concord, MA is one of my favorite destinations. It is a beautiful town that "reflects and respects its past," a past that towers over that of other towns in the area, even though they, too, have a past worth bragging about. I love it for its architectural beauty, its natural beauty, its philosophical and literary beauty, its historical beauty. Each time I go there, I am inspired. Today, I woke up hungry and decided to make my way to Concord. Five hours later, I arrived back home entirely satiated.

My first stop was at the Concord Museum for an exhibit celebrating the 375th anniversary of Concord's founding.

Housed behind its walls, you can see one of the lanterns that hung as a signal (One if by land, two if by sea) from Paul Revere that let his compatriot know how the British were coming; an extensive collection of artifacts that once belonged to Henry David Thoreau, including the flute that both he and his father played; and the study of Ralph Waldo Emerson. The brochure describes Concord this way: "From the 'shot heard round the world' to the writers of the American literary renaissance, things have happened here, words have been spoken here and books have been written here which changed the face of a nation. Over time, Concord has become a symbol of liberty and intellectual freedom."

From there, I made my way to the Sleepy Hollow Cemetery, originally a woodsy area meant as a place for peaceful walks and talks (a Transcendental thing). Ralph Waldo Emerson described it as a place where the muses could be found and where whispers were to be heard in the breezes. He felt that it should be a place where people could go for contemplation and leisure. That part hasn't changed any. Thoreau, Louisa May Alcott (left), Nathaniel Hawthorne, Margaret Sidney (who wrote "The Five Little Peppers and How they Grew"), Emerson and their families are all buried here on "Author's Ridge." Daniel Chester French, the great sculptor who created the Lincoln Memorial and the Minuteman statue, is also buried here. And I did, in fact, meet several people who were there listening to the whispers on the breezes =)

Then it was on to the Buttrick Mansion, a lovely old colonial home built on a bluff that overlooks the Concord River and the Old North Bridge. While I was there, two youngsters completed their requirements to be Junior Rangers and were applauded and introduced to the visiters who happened to be nearby. I'm not sure all they had to do to accomplish this, but it appeared to be a big deal, both to them and the ranger who signed the completion certificate.

Next up was Orchard House, home to the Alcott family for 20 years (they had moved 22 times in the previous 20 years!). I've been to this house many times before, but I always see and learn new things. That's one of its appeals for me. This time they had Anna's (Meg in Little Women) wedding dress on display. I soooo wanted to get a picture of it, but of course no pictures were allowed inside. It's quite beautiful...and exactly the way Louisa describes it in Little Women--a lovely grey silk. I'm always charmed as well as inspired to spend time in this house. Today it was especially meaningful to me, having recently read the delightful The Lost Summer of Louisa May Alcott and currently reading the 2008 Pulitzer Prize winning double biography Eden's Outcasts. In talking with the excellent docent, I learned that this summer's "Conversational Series" will feature a lecture by the author of this book. You can be sure that I signed up to be there to hear him! BTW, LMA's 1/2 moon desk where she wrote her famous book is situated between these two windows in her bedroom. That's Queen Anne's Lace dried, preserved, and hung in the panes--something I still want to try for myself.

As always, I had to pick up a few things from the gift shop. Today's treasure: a card with a 1845 LMA quote on it: "I had an early run in the woods before the dew was off the grass. The moss was like velvet, and as I ran under the arches of yellow and red leaves I sang for joy, my heart was so bright and the world so beautiful. I stopped at the end of the walk and saw the sunshine out over the wide "Virginia meadows." It seemed like going through a dark life or grave into heaven beyond. A very strange and solemn feeling came over me as I stood there, with no sound but the rustle of the pines, no one near me, and the sun so glorious, as for me alone. It seemed as if I felt God as I never did before, and I prayed in my heart that I might keep that happy sense of nearness all my life."

It was, indeed, a collection of revelations that transcended my expectations for the day. Coming on the heals of a lengthy job interview, this was the perfect antidote for the stress of trying to decide what to do next. As the day progressed, I felt more and more that I could, in the words of Thoreau, "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined."

Claude and Camille, Celia, and Sarah

I've been on a reading frenzy since school got out. The most recent books have been about artists or writers, or both. I'm a huge fan of novelized biographies and have enjoyed a number of such books about artists, the most recent being Stephanie Cowell's book Claude and Camille about Claude Monet as a young man trying to break into the world of art and the great love of his life, Camille. What an amazing story! The kind where you fall into it and don't get out of it for days, the kind you don't want to end, the kind you dream about and get up at 5 o'clock in the morning because you can't stop thinking and dreaming about it. I've long been a fan of the Impressionists, and have countless prints of their work that even as I write this decorate the walls of my home. My favorite, though, is a painting my niece did of Camille (left), as it turns out, after Monet's now famous portrayal of his eventual wife. Once done with the book, I spent hours looking up the paintings described in it and found myself wishing I'd known this story when I saw many of the originals in Paris or even in Boston. To that end, I may just find myself standing in front of some of them tomorrow as it's Community Day (free admission!) at Boston's MFA.

Meanwhile, I dove back into life-stories of artists I've admired and read Sandpiper, the biography of Celia Thaxter, written by her granddaughter. What a loving and poignant portrait of one of New England's most beloved poets! You may remember that my sisters, mother, and I visited her garden last summer out on Appledore Island off the coast of Porstmouth, NH. I may just have to find my way back there this summer having now read her story. I had forgotten that she was an artist as well as a writer and that she actually made more money with her painting than her writing.

Following hard on the heels of Celia's story, I read Master Smart Woman, a Portrait of Sarah Orne Jewett, another New England writer from the same era. She was born in South Berwick, ME a town I can drive through on my way north to see my parents if I chose to avoid the Maine turnpike (which I often do). Another towering figure in the world of women writers, Jewett painted New England as she saw and loved it with words that are still true today. I suspect I'll be making a visit to her home in the weeks to come as well. All this reading about writers and artists makes me hunger for my own experience as an artist, although many (most) did not live lives of leisure. In some respects it's a wonder we have any books or paintings to enjoy. Passion for what you're doing must be paramount...

Watching God Work

One of my friends posted this on her Facebook status a few hours ago: "Four ways to handle a predicament: Don't be afraid. Stand still. Watch God work. Keep quiet. "Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvation of the Lord which He will accomplish for you today; for the Egyptians (or whatever you are struggling with) whom you have seen today, you will never see them again forever. The Lord will fight for you while you keep silent." Exodus 14: 13, 14. (adapted fromSwindoll)" It has given me pause to think about life and the changes we go through, most of us on a daily basis.

Two months ago, I came to the edge of a cliff (metaphorically speaking) and, without much hesitation, jumped off*, whispering to God as I did so "Please don't let me crash." I then proceeded to let God do what He does best: take care of us. First thing He did was get me through the next several weeks unscathed. I did not crash. Second thing He did was bring people into my life who were not out to build themselves up, but who were more interested in seeing others fly. It was a revelation. Third thing He did was give me peace of mind and an out. An out that is even better than the alternative.

The truth is, God has a job to do, and it is all about taking care of us. The trouble is we usually don't stand still and let Him do His work. We think we need to get in there and do it ourselves. Too many times that only means we mess things up. It is too often my tendency to keep my fists all balled up with my frustrations crushed inside instead of opening them wide and letting the troubles fall at His feet. Having experienced His care over and over, it is a conundrum to me why I don''t always just put my hand in His and let Him take over from the get-go. It's that human independence, I guess. This time, I didn't try to do it myself. I just gave it all to Him, right from the edge of that cliff. I don't know yet how it all will turn out. So far, so good, though.

*The cliff was my job. Or should I say the departing from my job of 17 years, putting my condo of 15 years up for sale, and then waiting to see what would happen next.