Practicing the Presence of God

My King is full of mercy and goodness. Far from chastising me, He embraces me with love.  He makes me eat at His table. He serves me with His own hands and gives me the key to His treasures.  He converses and delights Himself with me incessantly, in a thousand and a thousand ways.  And He treats me in all respects as His favorite.  In this way I consider myself continually in His holy presence.

~ Brother Lawrence, 1895

Sometimes, when I'm looking for a book to read, I wander the aisles at Barnes &

Noble looking at covers (I've been known to choose a book for its cover) and titles (I especially love clever titles). Sometimes, though, I go to my own crowded bookshelves and look for old friends. There is a particular joy in reacquainting yourself with words that have made their mark on you in the past. You are, after all, a different person each time, even if the words are the same.  You have new experiences, new insight to bring to the reading, and you'll see and understand more each time to you read. I've been re-reading Brother Lawrence's The Practice of the Presence of God this week. It's been a part of my personal library since I was in college, at least.  It's a small book, with an unassuming cover. But the words and ideas inside are life-changing.  Published after his death in 1691, the little book is a collection of conversations and letters shared between Brother Lawrence and several friends towards the end of his life. In fact, he died a few days after the last letter was written. They chronicle how this legendary French monk found peace as he walked and talked with God for more than 40 years. And they have inspired me on more than one occasion to slow down, take stock, be still and know.

Born Nicholas Herman in 1610, he fought in the Thirty Years War where he received an injury that left him crippled and in severe pain for the rest of his life.  He took on the name of Lawrence after the parish priest who encouraged him as a young boy in his spiritual walk. In between his life as a soldier and the time he became a monk, he spent some time living in the wilderness and was in service as well. He described himself as a "footman who was clumsy and broke everything."  Finally, he entered a monastery in Paris where he served as cook for 15 years before moving to the sandal repair shop. During all this time, Brother Lawrence was learning about God through his daily walk.

The introduction to the Light Heart edition of the book says that "In times as troubled a today, Brother Lawrence, discovered, then followed, a pure and uncomplicated way to walk continually in God's presence.  For some forty years, he lived and walked with Our Father at his side."  While this sounds interesting and inspiring, what is most interesting and inspiring to me is reading about Lawrence's evolution in his understanding of the character of God.

In the early years of his intense effort to get to know God he spent many hours dwelling everything that was flawed in his own character. In his second letter, he writes "For the first years, I commonly employed myself during the time set apart for devotion with thoughts of death, judgment, hell, heaven, and my sins. I continued, for some years, applying my mind carefully the rest of the day, and even in the midst of my work, to the presence of God, whom I considered always as with me, often as in my heart."  He goes on to say, though, that this kind of meditation caused him a great deal mental anguish.  "It seemed to me that all creatures, reason, and God, Himself, were against me and faith alone for me."

After 10 years, he figured out that all the negative dwelling he'd been doing didn't give him the truest picture of God. So he shifted his approach. "Finally," he writes. "I considered the prospect of spending the rest of my days in these troubles. I discovered this did not diminish the trust I had in God. In fact, it only served to increase my faith. It then seemed that, all at once, I found myself changed. My soul, which, until that time was in trouble, felt a profound inward peace, as if she was in her center and place of rest. 

“Ever since that time I walk before God simply, in faith, with humility, and with love. I apply myself diligently to do nothing and think nothing which may displease Him. I hope that when I have done what I can, He will do with me what He pleases."  Notice the subtle shift of attention from the negatives of his life to the positives of God in his life. Instead of feeling weighed down by his sins and transgressions, he is buoyed up by God's love. "My King is full of mercy and goodness. Far from chastising me, He embraces me with love. . . . He treats me in all respects as His favorite. In this way I consider myself continually in His holy presence."

As I re-read this slim volume this week, I was inspired to aspire anew to practicing the presence of God. May that be the experience of us all.