The Person You Can Be

            Discipline.  Pressure.  Tension.  What feelings do these words bring to you?  Good?  Bad?  Indifferent?  For me, they used to bring bad feelings--ones which got in the way of many things, including success and happiness sometimes.  I haven't always dealt well with these three beasts, but over the years, I've learned the truth about a statement that now has a place of honor in the upper corner of the mirror in my room:

 "You will never be the person you can be

if pressure, tension, and discipline are taken out of your life."

NEVER?  NEVER be the person I can be?  I learned this most vividly one summer a few years ago (well, more than a few).  And, since I suspect that you are not unlike me, and that your lives are not unlike mine—rather full—I thought you might find my discovery a little helpful.

            I got my Masters degree in English from Andrews University.  That meant I had to spend summers there taking classes.  If you've ever been in Berrien Springs in the summer, you will understand why I say this was NOT where I wanted to be in June, July, or August.  But, there I was this particular summer—struggling with three-hour-long classes, two-hour-long tests, hundreds and hundreds of pages of reading—daily, 15-20 pages research papers (there were four to do in the eight-week semester).  Yes, all that and much more, while trying, somehow, to maintain some sort of balance in my life.   It wasn't easy.  In fact, I thought it would be impossible.  There was so much else I would rather have been doing—anything but reading and writing and researching . . .

            It didn't help much, either, getting letters from friends who were telling me about their vacations spent at beaches, in Maine, swimming, waterskiing, sailing, hiking—having all sorts of fun—fun that I could not, would not, have that summer.  Even an 8-hour a day job sounded better than spending hours and hours sitting in class during the day and hours and hours pouring over my studies at night.  There were days when I just wanted to stay in bed and never get up.  But there was always some deadline hanging over my head.  And missing a day of summer school is like missing a week of regular school—something that just doesn't work.

            Sometimes I felt angry and depressed because what I was studying had nothing to do with what I was doing with my "real" life (sound familiar?!).  It bothered me that I had no real choice about what classes I was taking, or their content.  I began to hate my classes, and resent my teachers for putting me through things which I thought were so unnecessary, so inconsequential to my life.  And, I hated myself for hating everything that I was having to do.  It became a vicious circle.  And an unhealthy one.

            It came to the point where I had to make a decision about how I was going to face my days.  It really was no good to expend energy on hate of something that would still be there to do, regardless of my feelings and attitude.  I realized, sooner rather than later, luckily, that I would have to make a change in my attitude if not my feelings.  And so I started looking for the positive, for the purpose, for the one point that would make a difference for me moving forward.  Some days this was harder than others.  But the truth was that those days always went better if I gave them a chance.  As the summer wound down, I found myself valuing my classes and my teachers more and more.  Today, the lessons I learned that summer are lessons that I still use, that I have shared with students of my own now for more than 3 decades.  Finding purpose in everything you do changes up everything you do.  Even the act of looking for it changes your attitude and your vision.  And that always makes a difference. 

            The Bible has some advice for us about our attitude in Philippians 4:8-9: 

^8-9 Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies” (The Message).  In other words, cultivating a positive attitude about whatever you have to do gives you the opportunity to be the best person you can be.